


the best by far is you.

by Idnis



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Holding Hands, M/M, that's literally it - Freeform, this is my take on Andrew and Neil holding hands in public
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-14
Updated: 2017-12-14
Packaged: 2019-02-14 20:30:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13015563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Idnis/pseuds/Idnis
Summary: Neil frowned.Had he ever held hands with Andrew?





	the best by far is you.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello lovely people!
> 
> So I was listening to the song Cecilia and the Satellite while riding the bus, and I always thought those lyrics were really cute but then it got me thinking about Andrew and Neil and if they would like, hold hands in public. 
> 
> So here's this little drabble of a story!  
> Enjoy :)

_"of all the things my hands have held,_  
_the best by far is you."_  
  
(Cecilia And The Satellite)

* * *

  
It had never been a big deal,  
or more accurately,  
Neil had never given it much thought because it wasn’t important per se.  
  
But when he walked towards the cafeteria to get some lunch,  
for some reason,  
he noticed that all around him people were walking hand in hand.  
  
Well, not people.  
Couples probably.  
  
Neil frowned at the linked hands,  
then shrugged it off.  
  
When he was waiting in line for his food however, he noticed there was another couple in front of him. The girl was texting someone on her phone when her presumed boyfriend casually bumped their hands together,  
and they automatically  
linked.

Just like that.  
  
Neil frowned again.

Had he ever held hands with Andrew?

∞

As was the way with thoughts that wouldn’t shut up,  
this thought wouldn’t  
shut  
up  
and Neil found himself paying way too much attention to his and Andrew’s pda,  
which he discovered was pretty non-existent.  
  
∞  
  
They were walking towards the cafeteria.  
Together for once.  
  
Andrew raised an eyebrow when he noticed Neil frowning at him,  
but Neil couldn’t help but notice others around them were holding hands.

It had never been a big deal,  
and Neil hadn’t given it much thought  
but now that he _had_ , he didn’t know what to do about this nagging thought.  
  
Getting in line to pay for their food, Andrew quickly grabbed a bottle of water and handed it to Neil, without asking, because he knew Neil disliked most soft drinks.  
  
Leave it be seemed like the best option to Neil.  
  
∞  
  
After practice, the team was waiting in the lounge for Wymack to talk to them about the upcoming games. On the couch, Matt and Dan were teasing each other with big grins on their faces.

Matt gave Dan a little playful shove, to which she gave him a harder one in return. Matt winced, and Dan made up for it by reaching for his hand.  
  
They held hands casually,  
like an afterthought.

Neil frowned.

Had Matt and Dan done this a lot before,  
or was he only now noticing?

Andrew tapped on his leg to get his attention.

Tearing away his gaze with difficulty, Neil met Andrew’s eyes.

To anyone else there wasn’t a question in Andrew’s eyes,  
and maybe there wasn’t,  
maybe it was in the small and subtle changes in Andrew’s body language,  
but Neil still saw the question.  
  
He wanted to shrug it off and not make a big deal about it,  
but he also didn’t want to lie,  
so he ended up shrugging very awkwardly.  
  
‘Course Andrew didn’t seem convinced,  
but he dropped it for now.  
  
It shouldn’t be a big deal, Neil thought again, as he turned back to Matt and Dan, and.  
Sure enough, their hands were still linked.

Neil didn’t _need_ to hold hands right now, he’d held hands with Andrew in private often enough.  
  
But there was something about seeing others holding hands  
that had him wishing for the same thing.

Jealousy?  
No, that didn’t feel like the entire reason.  
  
‘Neil?’ Matt asked, sounding concerned. Probably because Neil had been frowning at him for some time now. ‘What’s wrong?’  
  
Neil blinked, trying to smoothen his expression, but then Dan asked, ‘Were we too much?’

‘No _—_ ’

‘Too much?’ Nicky repeated, interrupting Neil’s protest. ‘If that’s too much for Neil’s eyes then I’m worried about his love life.’  
  
Nicky shot Andrew a look, but luckily Andrew didn’t take the bait.

Andrew did, however, press his leg briefly against Neil’s.  
  
It was some form of holding each other,   
and though the contact still made his heart jump and his chest feel warm  
his said,  
_not the same_.  
  
The touch was enough,  
Neil didn’t _need_ more  
and still.

∞  
  
Obviously, he shouldn’t hold this conversation with Aaron of all people,  
but he’d run into Aaron and Katelyn in the library, and then Katelyn went and greeted him enthusiastically, tugging Aaron closer  
by the _hand_.  
  
Neil looked at their casually clasped hands.

‘Why do you do that?’ he asked.

‘Um.’ Katelyn sounded confused. ‘Do what exactly?’

Neil nodded towards their joined hands. ‘Hold hands.’

Aaron snorted. ‘You really are retarded.’

It earned him a little admonishing tug on his hand before Katelyn answered, ‘It’s nice.’

Like they would be holding hands if it was horrible.

‘Right,’ Neil said. ‘But why did you start holding hands?’ 

Aaron rolled his eyes. ‘I don’t even want to talk to you on a normal day. And I don’t want to talk to you about holding hands with my _girlfriend_.’  
  
He stressed the word girlfriend in a way that told Neil it was part of the answer.

‘So it’s by default?’

‘What?’ Aaron scoffed. ‘No. It’s because it’s nice, stupid, like she already said.’

‘You’re no help,’ Neil sighed,  
before walking past them towards the counter to return his library books.  
  
∞  
  
It maybe turned into a big deal when he was walking with Andrew towards his class,  
and noticed a couple walking in front of them,  
holding  
hands.

‘Can they stop that?’ he said, irritated. 

Andrew shot him a look. ‘In the mood to see people suffer today?'

Neil shook his head,  
but couldn’t quite lose his irritation.  
  
Unfortunately, the guy noticed.

‘Hey, what’s your problem?’

Neil didn’t slow down _—_ because he should keep his mouth shut and not make this into something _—_ but then of course the guy started walking faster to catch up. ‘Hey! I’m talking to you.’

‘Yeah, I’m not,’ Neil answered, trying to just walk away.

Except the guy caught up,  
and then made the big mistake of putting his hand on Neil’s shoulder, wrenching him back around like the trigger happy jerk he apparently was.  
  
Neil was fast  
but not as fast as Andrew,  
who had the guy’s wrist in a death grip, twisting it behind his body and continuing to twist  
until the guy was on his knees.

‘He let go,’ Neil said to Andrew, and maybe a little to himself.  
Let the thought go.

‘Next time you’ll lose this hand,’ Andrew said casually, releasing him and moving towards Neil again.

The guy was groaning on the ground.  
  
Andrew briefly bumped their arms together,  
and they started walking again.

Neil still wanted to hold hands.

∞ 

Because Kevin had his girlfriend over,  
Andrew and Neil were banned from the apartment. They decided to go to the cinema.  
  
It was mostly because the occurrence was rare enough that Andrew allowed it,  
and because Kevin had bought both their movie tickets.  
  
The timing could’ve been better, because Andrew’s car was currently at the garage for its yearly check and change of tires,  
so they had to take the bus.  
  
‘It’s cold,’ Neil breathed, creating little clouds between them.  
  
He rubbed his cold hands together.

Hands in his pockets, Andrew looked over at Neil,  
then at his red hands,  
and Neil suddenly had the startling thought that maybe this could be the perfect moment  
for holding hands.

Of course the bus arrived just then.  
  
Without asking, Andrew paid both their tickets, and when Neil started protesting, ‘I can p _—_ ’ simply walked towards the back of the bus where they found two empty seats.  
  
∞  
  
The bus turned out to be a little more crowded than Neil had expected.  
Then again,  
it was a Friday night.  
Most people probably wanted to go to the cinema.

Including couples.  
  
∞

Yeah, taking a crowded bus to the cinema really wasn’t a big deal.  
  
But all those couples holding hands kind of were.

Not even the loud group of guys getting on after three stops could distract Neil from the view of couples blindly reaching for each other’s hands,  
pressing their palms together without even looking at each other  
or at their hands.  
  
‘Fucking couples,’ Neil complained angrily, and maybe a little loudly.  
  
Luckily not loud enough for people to turn around.  
  
Only Andrew turned towards him.

‘This your way of dumping me?’  
  
The unexpectedness of the reply and what it implied immediately erased the frown off of Neil’s face.  
He turned to Andrew, but Andrew was looking boredly out of the window.

 _This should be enough_ , Neil thought, as his heart pounded wildly in his chest.  
  
And it was.  
His wish was entirely unnecessary  
and extra.  
  
But.  
But he wanted to _show_ people that Andrew was enough for him.

Pride.  
Pride was making this into a big deal.  
  
So relieved by the answer to his dilemma that  
Neil said quietly, without thinking,  
‘I’m proud of you.’

‘For figuring it out?’   
  
‘What?’ Neil asked, confused, until he remembered what Andrew had implied. ‘Oh, no.’  
  
Andrew turned towards him, one eyebrow raised.

‘Why don’t we hold hands?’ Neil asked. Then figured it was maybe a bit out of the blue, and added, ‘We shouldn’t need to hold hands.’

Because they shouldn’t.  
What they had was enough  
and it wasn’t anyone’s business what they were up to.  
  
Andrew stared at him like he was being weird,  
which maybe was a little fair.

‘Do you want to hold hands?’ Andrew eventually asked.

Neil looked down as he replied, ‘Yeah.’  
  
Still feeling stupid about it.

Because he was looking down,  
he saw Andrew reach for his hand,  
saw Andrew grasp his hand and slowly interlace their fingers.  
  
They weren’t exactly soft.  
But they were warm.  
And they were Andrew’s.

All the times Neil had observed others holding hands, it had looked like an afterthought,  
just a casual touch  
or maybe something they did out of habit.

Didn’t feel like that though.

Andrew holding his hand in the crowded bus,  
their fingers interlaced,  
intertwined,  
felt like reassurance  
felt like connection  
felt like pride.

Still looking at their hands,  
Neil smiled.

‘Sorry,’ he said, though his smile wouldn’t leave. ‘First time.’

Andrew was quiet.

So Neil looked up.  
  
Andrew was staring out the window, head turned so Neil couldn’t see his eyes.  
  
‘Too much?’ Neil asked.

When Andrew turned towards Neil again,  
he looked anything but bored or emotionless.

Instead, his eyes were alive with different kinds of emotions, including  
frustration  
the kind of frustration that made Andrew say  
_I hate you_  
and  
_I want to kill you 102% of the time I’m around you._

‘I guess Aaron had a point,’ Neil said. ‘It’s nice.’

Andrew looked skeptically at him. ‘It’s not a lie,’ he said. ‘But it sounds like one.’

Neil shrugged.  
  
The bus stopped to let a few other students on, and Neil watched them fumble for money,  
trying to appear casual while  
secretly,  
he was basking in the feeling of holding hands,  
heart pounding loudly in his chest.  
  
Only when the bus started driving again did Andrew break the silence.

‘Same.’

He could’ve meant multiple things,  
but Neil knew which one.  
  
Guess it kind of had been a big deal,  
for both of them.  
  
∞

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!! <3 
> 
> Let me know what you thought, if you want :D You can also stalk me on twitter (@idnis9) or tumblr (idnis.tumblr.com)!


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